Tag Archives: trust

Count it All Joy

As soon as I started the car Monday morning, I knew something wasn’t quite right. But it had been raining for two days, and historically, the battery sometimes just needs a little extra time to get warmed up in such conditions.

But as I pulled out of my neighborhood, I realized whatever was wrong wasn’t correcting itself, and it seemed I was at risk of the engine choking out at any moment. So instead of heading to work (because there is little that terrifies me more than the car breaking down on the side of the road. seriously.), I drove the shorter distance to my parents’ house, not able to go more than 40-45 mph. And let’s just not even talk about the car’s distress on hills and at stoplights. Once at my parents’ house, I knew my Mom could drive me to work and my Dad could look at the car after work. (Huge shout out of thanks to both of my parents!)

count it all joy

By mid-morning, safely at work but with the knowledge that I was either facing a new car purchase before I was fully prepared or a likely substantial repair, I knew that the correct response to this situation was something along the lines of James 1:2

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds…”

And while I was incredibly grateful that I had started the morning in focused prayer, to at least give me a fighting chance to maintain proper perspective … even uttering these very words, “Lord, this day is all yours” … this wasn’t exactly how I would have planned for that prayer to be lived out.

So as I reflected on the right response, to count it all joy, realizing that I was pretty much failing miserably at it, my thoughts shifted towards what this passage wasn’t saying, to hopefully better understand what it was saying.

It wasn’t really saying to find the silver lining that somehow made the circumstance ok.

And it wasn’t really saying to be happy about what just went down.

But it was saying to count it all joy because of what was coming.

“…for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
James 1:3-4

Because there is great hope and expectation in what lies ahead after and because of the trial: steadfastness which leads to perfection and completeness.

That’s where the joy is rooted. In the assurance and security of that promise.

It’s letting the worry and concern and circumstances fade in the light of Jesus Christ. It’s moving closer to Him in faith regardless of the trial. It’s knowing and trusting and abiding.

Honestly, even with all of that at the forefront of my heart and mind, I still feel like in many ways I failed. I knew the right response. And my flesh continued to battle with my spirit over it all day.

But at the end of the day, if nothing else, I just know.

I know I’m a day closer, a circumstance closer, to Him.

I know a rest in my soul because I know He’s here in the midst of my car issues and my heart issues.

And for today, maybe that’s enough.

Because He’s enough.

Story

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“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 1:6 (ESV)

story

I see story in everything.

And trust me, that’s not all bad. In fact, for the writer in me, that’s really good.

When it comes to my own life, I’m pretty good at seeing how the details work together … I’m good at fitting pieces and elements of my journey up until now into a coherent and plausible story.

I can take small snippets of memories and feelings from particular times and see a story written into the in between moments and the everyday.

I can look at transformative life events and see how God has been faithful, how He has never left my side, how He has stretched me and grown me and drawn me closer to Himself, and how He has used certain circumstances and people for His purpose.

I can look back over my life until this present moment and see how everything that’s happened and every path I’ve gone down (yes, even the wrong ones) has been intricately woven together to bring me to the place I am now.

As I analyze and observe all of these elements, my tendency is to make them fit neatly together, to see patterns, to make sense of circumstances (however scary and unknown they were at the time) that led to other circumstances that each serve as individual pieces of a bigger plot culminating in the right now of today.

And in some ways, this is all fine and good and maybe just part of being human.

But in other ways, it misses a very important truth: my story isn’t over.

There’s still a lot of unknown.

And the Author?

Well, to put it bluntly, it’s not me.

It’s HIM.

And by trying to make so much sense of the unfolding story in this moment from my limited perspective, although there may be elements of truth in what I come up with, I may also be overlooking the possibility that the place I am now was never meant to be a chapter break … that the story wasn’t supposed to make sense here at all. It may just be a small part or a next step or a preparation for something in the future that I can’t even begin to imagine.

But the Author of my story?

His stories are beautiful. He already knows the end. He knew it when He started writing. And His good work will be completed.

The middle may not always make sense to me, but each part fits into His whole story perfectly.

So I trust this Author.

Because ultimately, I want to live my story according to His pen and watch with eager anticipation as He weaves each detail together while simultaneously weaving together a far bigger story, the greatest story of all … of undeserved redemption and unconditional love … His own.

Just Keep Going

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just keep going

Sometimes I read stories of and/or watch those a few years younger than me, those just out of college, who seem to know exactly what they want next, are sure of their calling in this life, or are passionate about one particular cause. And instead of taking time to consider how to best execute their dreams, or getting caught up in a cost-benefit analysis for their proposed plans, or worrying about how finances will fall into place, they just get to work and do something or go somewhere.

They seem so young, and sometimes their actions seem a bit impulsive and carefree, but they’re already doing what they love and living out their passions and dreams.

When I consider their path versus my own, it’s easy for me to fall into the ugly comparison trap of thinking I’ve somehow missed something, or in the very least that I’m behind.

That because I didn’t have the focus or the dream 5 years ago, I didn’t get it right.

That because I don’t have the life now that I envisioned then, something didn’t go right.

That because I still don’t have a clear vision of what this life should be about, I’m still not getting it right.

But if my one passion and drive is living for the Lord and glorifying Him through loving Him and loving His people, so what?

As I spent the entire month of October over a year ago fleshing out through a 31 Days series, this life isn’t about knowing exactly what comes next.

Yes, God calls some people to very specific tasks that last a lifetime.

But for the rest of us … we just keep risking. trusting. following. loving. going.

By faith. Eyes fixed on the perfect Author of this story. One step at a time.

Of course I’m not going to have it all figured out yet … or likely ever this side of heaven.

This life isn’t over and that’s not my job.

My job?

It’s to just keep going.

I will likely make hundreds of more wrong turns and try hundreds of more things … some of which may succeed, others of which will almost be guaranteed to fail.

But this God, this Jesus, whose way is perfect stays the same and never fails.

He’s got this world from beginning to end.

This day … this life … is His.

He’s got this.

So just keep going.

“…and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…”
Hebrews 12:1-2 (ESV)

The Victor’s Grip is Greater

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Victor's Grip

Some days, the what-ifs and I-don’t-knows of this feel overwhelming. Even a little dark. Like swimming through murky waters just below the surface. I can’t quite see my way out.

Questions of the alternatives hang in the balance.

But maybe I’m supposed to sit with the tension, the conflict, the trial, a little longer. Each day realizing even more that this is out of my hands. It was never really in them anyways.

The facade of control crumbles.

The attempt to manage and maintain fails.

But the message from Sunday’s sermon on James 1 rings loud and clear.

“Count it all joy, my brothers,when you meet trials of various kinds,for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness^.And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4 (ESV)

The trustworthy Words of the Lord are light in this darkness.

I can hear Him saying…

Trust Me. Be Steadfast. Rest. Find Joy. Not in your ability, but in Mine.

And I find myself desperately asking for wisdom (my word for this year). Because I just can’t do this on my own. I can’t even fix my gaze on Him without His power, His strength, His presence drawing me in, drawing me near, drawing me deep.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5 (ESV)

The burden to figure-out this life is not mine to bear. There’s really very little to figure-out. He’s already done that. He’s already planned, battled, and won.

The unknown is frightening and fear’s grip can be great, but the victory is secure, and the Victor’s grip is greater.

{Day 31} It’s About Resting More

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“Behold, a king will reign righteously … And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.”

Isaiah 32:1, 17 (NASB)

It’s only in the quietness of soul … in the peace, in the rest … that perspective is rightly restored to full confidence in Him.

Because when my mind is working on overdrive, when I’ve got a tight grip on my own future plans, when I don’t make the effort to stop and spend time with Him, when I let go of the quiet, I believe the lie that I can do this on my own.

But in the quiet, I recognize my desperate need for Him. For His direction. For His peace. For His presence.

And from that place, I lean into Him. I trust Him. I depend on Him in full confidence. Because He is. And He always will be.

This quiet confidence … this life … it’s not about trying harder. It’s about resting more.

{Day 30} Fix Your Hope

{Day 29} I Don’t Serve a Small God…

The Inner Harbor

Where God is evidenced. Where my soul is anchored. Where my heart is filled.