“I Will Sing Unending Songs…”

“Let this be recorded for a generation to come, so that a people yet to be created may praise the Lord…”
Psalm 102:18 (ESV)

unending songs

This weekend, I will spend Saturday morning and Sunday evening recording a live worship album with the worship ministries team at church.

I’m only one small part of the second row of a large choir (plus orchestra, rhythm section, praise team, tech team, children’s choir, and student choir), but I am so excited to be a part of this recording project. I do not take this opportunity and responsibility lightly … to be a part of leading others (both present and future generations, both in my city and around the world) to worship in spirit and in truth and to praise the Lord’s name!

While we’ve been diligently preparing and rehearsing for several weeks (probably more like months…) now, this past Wednesday evening was obviously a particularly long and intense rehearsal as tempos were being nailed down, harmonies were being fine-tuned, rhythms were being locked-in, cut-offs were being sharpened, and all of the moving parts were being tweaked to come into their final places.

No doubt there will be a few additional tweaks throughout the multiple day recording process this weekend (and beyond) as well.

But beyond the logistics and the technical aspects of the music, the lights, the sound, etc., it is such an honor and privilege to serve alongside this worship ministries team under the leadership of a worship pastor who values and prioritizes Biblical worship.

Even the most intense rehearsals are Christ-centered and worship-focused.

I love that!

Now I’m not really much into visions. In fact, I’m probably more on the side of the skeptic when it comes to receiving some form of a vision from the Lord, but I also believe that God can and does still work that way when His people are willing to listen and see.

So what I’m about to say, I take incredibly seriously, but know I likely won’t be able to do the moment much justice at all. But it’s too rich not to at least try!

As we were nearing the 2.5 hour mark on Wednesday evening, as I was feeling more fatigued by the minute and rather at the end of myself, during our final worship set, a medley of four songs all about the eternal song of praise in heaven, the Lord allowed me to catch a hazy and fleeting, but oh so powerful, glimpse of the reality of heaven.

Not in a clear photographic vision sort of way.
Not even in a clouds-parted-and-I-literally-saw-heaven sort of way.
Not at all.

But with the house lights down, the spotlights bright, the many exit signs glowing, in the fogginess and dimness of that moment as we were literally singing the words,

“Every eye will see the coming of the King…”

I saw it.

A hazy, fleeting, barely-for-a-moment glimpse of That Day when all eyes will be focused on the Center of this eternal reality … the light and truth that is our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.

Oh. Wow.

I’m speechless just thinking about it again!

It was as if for that very brief moment, I was able to step outside of myself, aware of the powerful and heartfelt worship coming from the entire team around me, but somehow removed from it and able to catch a glimpse of what this looked like from the outside.  Somehow able to see this grand light – Jesus Christ on His throne – that we were all singing towards, that our hearts were all directed towards, that our eyes were all looking towards.

Every eye seeing. Every knee bowing. Every heart worshiping.

And y’all.

It changed my own heart in an instant.

At the end of myself, the Great I AM stepped in and re-directed my heart to the unending, awesome, holy, and wonderful Glory of His Son.

While still physically exhausted, my worship was transformed following that moment … renewed, energized, passionate, and true.

Eternity is a reality. Heaven is real.

And THE eternal song of heaven begins now…

“Holy, Holy are You Lord, God, Almighty!”

“Worthy is the Lamb!”

“Jesus is the Lord!”

“Blessing and honor and glory and power, forever!”

“I will sing unending songs…”

Everything. Anything.

“fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Isaiah 41:10

everything anything

In the midst of battling fear, processing change, and feeling worn, during a difficult yet sweet time in the Word re-reading the same two passages of Scripture (Joshua 1 and Isaiah 41) for what was going on days, the desperate prayer of my heart was this:

Lord, what more do you want from me? What more do I have to give?

And His response was this:

Everything. Anything.

And not just once. And not just for a moment. I want all of you. For a lifetime. Of moment-by-moment surrender and following.

I want you to choose to rest in My presence over and over again.

When it’s easy and when it’s not.
When you want to and when you don’t.
When you think you can do this life on your own and when you know you cannot.

I want you with Me.

I want everything. anything.

A Quick Post

a quick post

This is just a quick post to let you know that I’m taking this week to step away from the blog.

To quiet my heart before the Lord. To hear His voice. To lean into Him.

So there will be no devo thought today and no post at all on Friday.

Regular posting will resume next week.

Until then and in the absence of my words, might I humbly suggest you read HIS instead.

I just started the book of Joshua…

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:8-9 (ESV – emphasis added)

Saturday Plans

saturday plans

My Saturday plans pretty much consist of the following:

Drinking coffee in my favorite chair
Doing laundry
Reading something just for fun (probably “The Brothers Karamoz”)
Studying
Cleaning the house … at least parts of it
Watching a movie
Sending a few long over-due emails
Enjoying some much needed down time

What are some of your Saturday plans?

Happy Weekend!

Count it All Joy

As soon as I started the car Monday morning, I knew something wasn’t quite right. But it had been raining for two days, and historically, the battery sometimes just needs a little extra time to get warmed up in such conditions.

But as I pulled out of my neighborhood, I realized whatever was wrong wasn’t correcting itself, and it seemed I was at risk of the engine choking out at any moment. So instead of heading to work (because there is little that terrifies me more than the car breaking down on the side of the road. seriously.), I drove the shorter distance to my parents’ house, not able to go more than 40-45 mph. And let’s just not even talk about the car’s distress on hills and at stoplights. Once at my parents’ house, I knew my Mom could drive me to work and my Dad could look at the car after work. (Huge shout out of thanks to both of my parents!)

count it all joy

By mid-morning, safely at work but with the knowledge that I was either facing a new car purchase before I was fully prepared or a likely substantial repair, I knew that the correct response to this situation was something along the lines of James 1:2

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds…”

And while I was incredibly grateful that I had started the morning in focused prayer, to at least give me a fighting chance to maintain proper perspective … even uttering these very words, “Lord, this day is all yours” … this wasn’t exactly how I would have planned for that prayer to be lived out.

So as I reflected on the right response, to count it all joy, realizing that I was pretty much failing miserably at it, my thoughts shifted towards what this passage wasn’t saying, to hopefully better understand what it was saying.

It wasn’t really saying to find the silver lining that somehow made the circumstance ok.

And it wasn’t really saying to be happy about what just went down.

But it was saying to count it all joy because of what was coming.

“…for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
James 1:3-4

Because there is great hope and expectation in what lies ahead after and because of the trial: steadfastness which leads to perfection and completeness.

That’s where the joy is rooted. In the assurance and security of that promise.

It’s letting the worry and concern and circumstances fade in the light of Jesus Christ. It’s moving closer to Him in faith regardless of the trial. It’s knowing and trusting and abiding.

Honestly, even with all of that at the forefront of my heart and mind, I still feel like in many ways I failed. I knew the right response. And my flesh continued to battle with my spirit over it all day.

But at the end of the day, if nothing else, I just know.

I know I’m a day closer, a circumstance closer, to Him.

I know a rest in my soul because I know He’s here in the midst of my car issues and my heart issues.

And for today, maybe that’s enough.

Because He’s enough.

5 Things

5things - railroad crossing

1. I took this photo last night when my roommate, B, and I were stopped for the slowest. train. ever. on the way home from dinner last night. I kinda love it.

2. If we’re friends on Facebook, you may have noticed that I posted a status about dreams not too long ago. Basically, I’m considering writing a post or two about dreams/hopes/plans for the future. I’ve never considered myself much of a dreamer, but lately, I find myself dreaming about and considering “big” things for the future a lot. And it’s a little uncomfortable.

I suppose I’m hesitant to become what I consider a dreamer because I don’t want to leave the Lord out of my dreams for the future or not give Him room to move and re-direct in their midst.

Something about naming a dream and putting a hope for the future into words makes it seem like a real thing, too. As in, if it’s truly a dream or desire I have, it might require action on my part, and it may not be easy. But maybe the Lord gives dreams … or at least works through them? Maybe there’s something to delighting yourself in Him and being given the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4)? Maybe the closer we move towards Him, the more our hearts align with His, and the dreams of our hearts reflect His heart?

I don’t know. I don’t have a schedule for this yet. And I’m sure I won’t get it right. But I’m interested in talking about it and exploring it if you’re willing to come along for the ride.

3. Remember that baby dedication I mentioned in last month’s “5 Things” post? Well, my friend (and favorite photographer. no lie. except for these boys. they still top my list.) let me use her good camera (uh, I was a little nervous, but it was super fun!) to take a few shots of the event, and ended up using a few in this post of my favorite 9 month old (I promise she’s incredibly cute!!). Check it out. And take a few minutes to look at some other photos while you’re over at her blog. Beautiful, right?!

4. This verse has been swirling around in my heart and mind ever since I read it a couple of weeks ago…

“They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them.”
Nehemiah 9:17 (ESV)

5. According to the official WordPress count (which means feed readers aren’t included…), I’m ONE blog subscriber away from 100. I know. Numbers don’t mean that much and that particular number is not really anything to write home about. But if you read my blog with some degree of regularity, would you consider subscribing to receive updates via email? (note: I blog twice a week.)

If so, see the sidebar to the right, type in your email address, and click the ‘Yes, please!’ button. If I make it over 100, I could even be convinced to have another giveaway to honor the occasion.

And just for the record, I so appreciate each and every one of you! Whether you subscribe or not. Whether you comment or not. I’m just grateful you read here and pray you walk away encouraged and filled with truth. So there.

What I’m Learning In the Everyday

Lately, it seems I’ve been in one of those seasons that is mostly characterized by the routine of the everyday.

what i'm learning in the everyday

Oh, sure, I have a couple of trips planned for later this year, I’m doing my fair share of dreaming big (which if I’m being totally honest, still feels a little different and uncomfortable because I’ve always tended more towards the practical and logical side of, well, everything), and there are new things potentially surfacing in the distant horizon, but they’re not right around the corner. So I find myself doing life right now in the everydayness of it all.

It’s good. It’s full. It’s rich. It’s demanding.

It’s just the everyday.

But I want to be wildly, unashamedly, with-abandon passionate, faithful, and focused on the Lord in the midst of this.

Because this is real life. This is relationship. This is walking with Him, trusting Him, depending on Him even when it doesn’t always “feel” like I need Him. Because I do. Desperately. In each moment of the everyday.

And perhaps because of this particular season, when it comes to living this life worthy of my calling, I find myself in the middle of learning so much that serves as a constant reminder of how unfinished and how desperately-in-need-of-Him-each-moment I really am…

I’m learning to keep my eyes fixed on Christ … even though I’m really bad it.

I’m learning to live by the Spirit in each and every moment.

I’m learning to accept the grace upon grace that Christ so freely gives.

I’m learning to walk by faith and not by sight … even when my calendar is too full and I feel like I’m operating in survival mode.

I’m learning to ask God for big things according to His will.

I’m learning to see the beauty in the small things that I far too often overlook.

I’m learning to love well by allowing Christ to fill me, so that I can be emptied on others.

I’m learning to rest in the fullness of Christ rather than attempting perfection by my own strength.

And I’m learning to crave more of Jesus Christ above all else because He is the only One who truly satisfies.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”
John 3:30 (ESV)