Well, I would have whistled if I could. But I can’t. So one of you may need to volunteer to whistle for me.
[And yes, if you're familiar with the song, I'm taking the title completely out of context, but I just decided to roll with it...]
As is probably (at least somewhat) obvious from last week’s thoughts on surrender, the last couple of weeks have been a little rough.
From an “eternal/kingdom perspective” (if you don’t know what I mean by this, do feel free to ask…) the never-ending thoughts swirling around in my mind [regarding decisions that don't yet need to be made and plans of action that will almost assuredly never be implemented] are probably trivial and insignifcant, but they have never-the-less weighed heavily on me.
Yesterday (Wednesday) was a good day. A happy day!
I’m a little under the weather, which necessitated missing my weekly church choir rehearsal for the first time in months, but when I came home from work I was greeted by this…
A package. At my door. With TONER FOR MY PRINTER.
Oh Happy Day!! I can print from home again!!
While I didn’t whistle, I might have done a happy dance right there in my hallway…ummm, once I had closed the door, of course.
And in other news: while taking the above photo, I “let” a mosquito in the house. In February…
“…for it is God who works in you to will and to act
according to His good purpose.”
Philippians 2:13 (New International Version)
while i would like to think that i am a genuine blogger, i’m hesitant to post this. yet, from a “keepin’ it real” perspective, it’s where i am. maybe it’s where you are, too. and maybe we can encourage each other.
if i could characterize the past couple of weeks or so with one word, it would be this:
i am stretched thin.
i am evaluating directions.
i am battling negative emotions.
i am frustrated – even a bit angry – with my studies.
i am in constant thought (introspection can be a dangerous thing…).
i am beyond exhausted.
but over the past several days, in the midst of the struggle, the same theme has been recurring in various forms and settings:
while this may (or may not) come as a surprise to you, in my “real-life” interactions with people, i can be quite guarded.
oh sure, i use myself as illustrations for leading devotions and small groups all the time and i am happy to share about pretty much anything when asked a direct question.
and in those ways i am an open book.
but when i use myself as illustrations, it’s often in areas that i’ve dealt with in the past (even if that “past” was a week ago…), so the intensity of “dealing” with it typically either has faded or is fading.
and when i’m asked direct questions, even about my uncertain future, i’m able to answer honestly without necessarily giving extra of myself.
but when it comes to offering where i’m hurting or struggling or uncertain – basically, where i’m weak – i keep it [mostly] to myself.
what i am realizing more and more, however, is that i have a tendency to use the same tactic when approaching the Lord.
it’s easy to share my past with Him. it’s in the past. i can give it to Him fully. i can learn from it. i can grow from it. but it’s done. it can’t be changed.
it’s also relatively easy to share my [at least distant] future with Him. it hasn’t happened yet. i can’t really do much to control it. so i might as well trust Him with it.
but the present. right now. the everyday. who i am.
i hold it back. i keep it to myself. as if He doesn’t know, doesn’t see, doesn’t understand.
but in the midst of this realization, the recurring theme from songs to blogs to books to Scripture seems louder than ever.
He wants my past. He wants my future. He wants my present. He wants my good. He wants my bad. He wants my brokenness. He wants my all.
and i’m left with this:
(click the “play” button to hear “I Surrender” by Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir)
It has come to my attention that I have failed to post anything in my “fun find” category for over six months. So that changes . . . right now.
But this is a different sort of fun find.
I have been following Shannan’s blog, Flower Patch Farmgirl, for some time now and absolutely love it! She has a genuine and refreshing style and a beautiful heart.
Well about a month ago, for her blog’s two year anniversary, Shannon hosted a giveaway for an 11”x17” poster from Jerusalem Greer. To enter, we simply had to check out Jerusalem’s etsy site, Jolly Goode, and leave a comment noting which poster we liked best (preferably providing a reason why).
So I left this comment:
My favorite is “Love has come to walk among us.” It reminds me of the line from Michael W. Smith’s song “Anthem for Christmas” and that makes me think of the powerful message of “Emmanuel”! Happy 2-year Anniversary!!
And I actually won!!! I was SOOO excited!
Especially considering how much I love words (I’m pretty sure my Bible Study girls from college can vouch for this…) and recently I have become quite in love with art that revolves around words.
My evening-photos-in-bad-light do NOT do this poster justice. It is a beautiful shade of red!
And to make it even sweeter, profits from Jerusalem’s etsy shop goes toward her family’s desire to adopt! Love that!
A huge THANK YOU to both Shannan and Jerusalem for the giveaway/poster!! I love it and cannot WAIT to frame it and get it up in my study!